The Pot of Gold

A lot of us have often wondered how it is difficult to "grow up", difficult to have healthy, long standing relationships and difficult to be happy these days. Why are these things so difficult?

Self

A large part lies in the fact that with time, our interpretations change. Our self-image changes. Our patience with people and their shortcomings come down. Our happiness becomes more dependent on external (sometimes tangible) factors and less on ourselves. Our idea of introspection is to justify our actions and thoughts and come to the conclusion that there was no other way to behave, rather than give the benefit of doubt to the other person and bring down our level of discordance.

Introspection has lost it's place in our life as calming oneself down is seen as a weakness. "For how long can I and should I calm myself down?" has become the predominant question in everyone's mind.

When we were young, we did this all the time and others did this to us too. As we become mentally and financially independent, this tendency goes down. We term it growing up, whereas it actually becomes a counter-productive loop which tends to mar our future self-growth as well as professional growth. This one thought of  "For how long can I allow X to happen?" is the poisonous root of disruption.

I am not saying all disruption is bad. Some disruption is desirable too. Moreover, disruptions have been taking place all the time, even when we were young. It is the impatience which is a deterrent to healthy growth.

The issue with us today is that we have a threshold, a "patience bar" which is like the battery indicator on our mobile phones... which gets charged by a constant need to tell ourselves that at this age or this stage or after such and such, it is now enough. No more tolerance.

Relationships

Parents, which seemed like dictators when we were young, slowly start seeming like villains who want to control your life.

Siblings fights, which were more frequent, more open and superficial, slowly start becoming "incidents" which start leaving deeper scars.

Friendships growing apart and withering because one or the other forgot some dates and events.

Intimate relations, like marriage, not able to bridge the gap between the person your spouse are... to what you want each other to become. No matter how much we try to deny it, we all want our spouses to become a newer, better, improved shadow of ourselves. More importantly, someone who has no emotional bonding with the life they had before marriage.

Inter-connecting relationships and changing dynamics of family setup, like marriage, children, which act more as a jolt than an enabler to growing up. Even small incidents being interpreted in so many different ways, often leading to discordance.

Social Media

Not social media, no. These factors don't create dissonance. They help to accentuate what we already think. We tend to seek affirmative information on the internet. Unknowingly, it creates a thought loop wherein we solidify our thoughts and term it correct. Worse, we might call it reality.

We might argue that social media actually gives us more information and helps us to grow up. I disagree. Think about it - were you more patient in general when there was no internet to while way your time or are you now? 

You had more things to do, time to think, tolerance for disagreements, inclination to understand the other person. You had a better vocabulary to express yourself. Proof -- the fact that you can express yourself well was developed when there was no internet. Compare that with the vocabulary youngsters have these days, when they are exposed to the internet at a very young age.

What is the way out?

Introspection, leading to tolerance. 

The only way out is to give in to what is happening, to go with the flow. Enjoy the good, learn from the bad. Communicate not with the intent to establish your identity, your worth, but with the intent to make the other person feel secure that you are not trying to undermine theirs.

It is a long drawn process, one which requires you to keep making efforts from your side and not expect anything in return. Question is --

Are you up for finding your happiness by spreading happiness? Are you up for finding happiness by over-looking others' shortcomings and at the same time, letting others judge you? Are you up for a constant journey without feeling cheated or irritated?

'Coz the pot of gold lies at the foot of the Rainbow.

A figment of imagination

A nameless friendship,
An aimless one,
Life brings us,

Temptations...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

A nameless friendship,
Lessons of the heart,
Life teaches us,

Laughter...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

A nameless friendship,
The vibes of understanding,
Life shows us,

Perspective...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

A nameless friendship,
An isolated island,
Life urges us,

Surrender...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

A nameless friendship,
A misty morning,
Life teaches us,

Scrutiny...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

A nameless friendship,
Could be lust, could be want,
Life ignites in us,

Desire...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

De-monetization or Demon-itization?

So Modi-ji has dealt the whole country a severe blow.

Is it a good move? Is it a bad move? Is it a move with good intentions but bad execution? Or, since people keep the least amount of their portfolio in cash, this was just an indication to those who hoard black money to straighten themselves or else be ready to face the next blow?

Did the PM underestimate the common man's intelligence in finding the loopholes? I reckon he did, as many people have managed to play the system. Otherwise, such large sums of money would not have found the route to banks. As of today, approximately 85% of the demonetized currency is already in the banking system -- this includes the money deposited after the November 8 announcement, the amount the banks keep with the RBI in the form of CRR and the amount that was with the banks from earlier. Figure this -- What Black Money?


One can't help but speculate that the remaining 15% will also be deposited much before the December 30 deadline - meaning, essentially, that all the high-denomination currency printed by the RBI was white! That black money is being hoarded in some other form and the government was unable to see where to attach the donkey's tail! Or that most of the black money was converted to white through the one in-your-face mistake the government made - allowing people to exchange old, banned currency for new ones over the counter. That shouldn't have been allowed simply. Instead, they should have been told to deposit the banned currency notes in their account and withdraw the new notes - something that they did announce after a few days. Had they realized their mistake?

Yes, he must have aces up his sleeve and I reckon he will achieve much more with the strict implementation of the Benami Properties Act, but he will soon have to address a very potent issue too -- What does he plan to do to give respite to the middle-class businessman?

The typical middle-class Indian businessman conducts most of his transactions without bill to avoid high taxes, i.e. conducts business in black. He does that to avoid the myriad taxes which eat up his income, which is anyways under pressure due to increasing competition. Some businesses are inherently low-margin, high-volume oriented. In those cases, burdening them with high indirect taxes and taxing the leftover income with Income Tax and expecting them to pay in all honesty is wishful thinking. Whatever one might say, people will not do that. This is where the cat and mouse game begins.

Here is the chicken and egg problem - should the government reduce tax rates first so that people become more complaint, or should the people start paying taxes first so that the government can afford to lower the rates?

But I digress. The real issue is not the money stashed with the general trader; the real issue is the black money hoarded by politicians, bureaucrats, criminals. This move was supposed to maim them. It was supposed to fight counterfeit money. Maybe it has managed to address the issue of fake currency, but rumors have already started floating that the new currency is not immune to it either.

The real issue is the exploitation of free will that black money commands. Those in possession of it can and do throw it at those who are deprived of it to get things they normally couldn't have gotten done. Right from the bribe you pay to your customer's salesman to sell more of your goods to the laborers who help gold smugglers to the police and politicians who can stop all this but turn a blind eye, everyone's free will is exploited by the lure of money which goes under the radar.

Has the current move managed to address this issue? I don't think so. Again, it is not something you can wish away; it is a long-drawn process, but one can't help but think that the process could have been faster if the scheme was implemented a little better.

In my limited understanding of the matter, the scheme should have seen some money being destroyed. Only that could have meant that people with black money couldn't find avenues to deposit it into banks and such loss will make them understand that there is no point in hoarding black money. Losing such money won't stop black money generation completely, but it will slow it down considerably.

Having said that, one must give credit to the PM for an extremely gutsy step and clarity of vision -- here is a man who knows what he wants to do with the powers and responsibilities bestowed upon him by the people and his chair, here is a man who can communicate his intentions clearly and who is not afraid to take decisions, here is a man who dares to meet the dark forces of his country head on.

There might have been goof-ups and unexpected twists in this whole process, but we must understand that we make mistakes even while organizing family functions of 300 people - he is trying to handle 1.3 billion people!

Indeed, a demonetization drive of such a massive scale has never taken place anywhere in the whole world and hence, everyone is waiting to see how this saga unfolds.

Will the next God please stand up?

Information moves rapidly these days. With the advent of technology and a growing base of information-hungry people, "information" has very quickly made a very important place for itself in our lives.

In fact, it is not surprising to find WhatsApp groups of friends/colleagues/peers dedicated to sharing information. People feel left out if they are no up-to-date with what's happening around them and in the world.

Information has also changed it's nature. Earlier, it was friends only with the elite and powerful, who fed on it to become more powerful. It was biased in it's reach. It was difficult to find. It was expensive to get.

Today, however, information is all pervasive. It is unbiased in it's availability - it treats the kings and ranks equally. It is now inexpensive and easily available - you just need to have enough dedication to find it. In a lot of ways, it has become a modern-day God of this world which relies on the digital more than the spiritual for anything the heart desires or questions...

However, with information symmetry set to become the order of the day sooner rather than later - even with all the overflow, it is yet to trickle down to all and sundry - it (information) might soon lose it's place of dominance, since it no longer will enjoy the edge of "exclusivity" - it's most potent weapon.

Who - or what - then, will be the new God?

LG - Life's Good (.) (?)

Life isn't easy or difficult; what forms our perception of the ease of Life is our acceptance - or lack of - of the circumstances we find ourselves in.

Do you feel that your driving force is that you deserve more? You won't find Life to be too demanding.
But, do you feel that you deserve more than X, Y or Z? Or more than what you got from Life earlier? Or that you deserve more because you feel that the effort you are putting is more than the rewards you are getting? If you do, then Life is going to be very exasperating, my friend.

Accept the fact that there are others who are more deserving than we are. Rather than rue over that fact, take inspiration from those that you secretly envy and go that extra mile.

Accept the fact that maybe earlier you had things easy. They aren't easy now. So what? Will you just chicken out and surrender to a life of grumpiness? Or will you stand up against the adverse circumstances and show Fate that it must favour your courage, no matter what?

Maybe you aren't getting rewards commensurate with your efforts, but remember, your evaluation of your efforts is just that - your evaluation. Maybe the issue at hand does require that much effort. Or maybe, you are a hard worker in that specific circumstance, not a smart worker. What's more important to you - favourable result, or favourable result with minimum effort?

Don't be someone who shies away from putting in effort - and Life will reward you. Maybe sooner, maybe later. But since you are someone who doesn't mind putting in effort, you also know that it takes a lot of patience to keep doing that. And since you are blessed with patience, a small God in its own right in today's snappy world, you know you can make a good life.

Can you handle the truth?

I was in Delhi recently for a friend's wedding. While it was a lot of fun catching up with old friends after a long time (and happily realized that not much has changed over the years), there was this one instance which evoked some thoughts that I have always believed in, but haven't revisited since some time now...

So there I was, in the hotel room watching some TV when the channel menu showed that they were playing "Before Sunrise"... Now, its been sometime since I saw that and "After Sunset"...

I have actively avoided watching these kinds of movies because you know, they are too much mush and pain in the name of romance. I am not into intense romantic movies anyway. They, somehow, drain me of my energy... and yeah, I can definitely do without feeling drained at the end of a movie!

Anyways, I had nothing better to do and was looking for an alternative, having watched news all morning...

I tuned in for sometime, only to find that some parts were actually thought-provoking (philosophical, maybe?)...

For how many of us actually take long walks with our partners? How many of us are truthful with them in that we can talk about our true feelings and thoughts with them? How many of us really ask them, "What about me really bugs you?"; and if we do, how many of us are willing to hear the raw truth?

Worse, if the question was directed at us, how many of us are going to be honest in our answers? Even if we are - or they are - how many of us will accept each others' quirks willingly and just let them be, not demanding any "action"? Just be content in knowing them for the better, not wanting to change them to suit our perception of what is "better" for them?

We all have thoughts which, at some level, are questionable, immoral or unorthodox at best. How many of us give the freedom to our partners to share them with us, without judging them? Most people do that with their friends because they can't do that with their so-called life partners, soul-mates or whatever mush you will...

Maybe we need to really ask the first question to ourselves -- Can you handle the truth?

Words to remember...

I find I have a lot to learn from people who are not book-fed. I strongly recommend interacting with experienced people versus people who have been to big universities, if and where the two sets are exclusive.

I was visiting one of my clients, an elderly gentleman who's borne the brunt of many a sun's heat in the field. He was telling me how markets have become difficult over time and now, there is no place for complacency.

Among all other things, one of his sentences stayed with me. He said, " In order to succeed, you must either be the first one to do something, or be the best in what you do, or be different than the rest"

Now, I have heard and read about first mover advantage, differentiation, competitive advantage and all of that... but to hear the crux of all that in a single sentence, by a man who has not gone to a university to read about all this, took me a little by surprise.

Success cannot come by knowing the formula from books. One must forget about the formula and work with a single point focus on achieving either or more of the above.