The Pot of Gold

A lot of us have often wondered how it is difficult to "grow up", difficult to have healthy, long standing relationships and difficult to be happy these days. Why are these things so difficult?

Self

A large part lies in the fact that with time, our interpretations change. Our self-image changes. Our patience with people and their shortcomings come down. Our happiness becomes more dependent on external (sometimes tangible) factors and less on ourselves. Our idea of introspection is to justify our actions and thoughts and come to the conclusion that there was no other way to behave, rather than give the benefit of doubt to the other person and bring down our level of discordance.

Introspection has lost it's place in our life as calming oneself down is seen as a weakness. "For how long can I and should I calm myself down?" has become the predominant question in everyone's mind.

When we were young, we did this all the time and others did this to us too. As we become mentally and financially independent, this tendency goes down. We term it growing up, whereas it actually becomes a counter-productive loop which tends to mar our future self-growth as well as professional growth. This one thought of  "For how long can I allow X to happen?" is the poisonous root of disruption.

I am not saying all disruption is bad. Some disruption is desirable too. Moreover, disruptions have been taking place all the time, even when we were young. It is the impatience which is a deterrent to healthy growth.

The issue with us today is that we have a threshold, a "patience bar" which is like the battery indicator on our mobile phones... which gets charged by a constant need to tell ourselves that at this age or this stage or after such and such, it is now enough. No more tolerance.

Relationships

Parents, which seemed like dictators when we were young, slowly start seeming like villains who want to control your life.

Siblings fights, which were more frequent, more open and superficial, slowly start becoming "incidents" which start leaving deeper scars.

Friendships growing apart and withering because one or the other forgot some dates and events.

Intimate relations, like marriage, not able to bridge the gap between the person your spouse are... to what you want each other to become. No matter how much we try to deny it, we all want our spouses to become a newer, better, improved shadow of ourselves. More importantly, someone who has no emotional bonding with the life they had before marriage.

Inter-connecting relationships and changing dynamics of family setup, like marriage, children, which act more as a jolt than an enabler to growing up. Even small incidents being interpreted in so many different ways, often leading to discordance.

Social Media

Not social media, no. These factors don't create dissonance. They help to accentuate what we already think. We tend to seek affirmative information on the internet. Unknowingly, it creates a thought loop wherein we solidify our thoughts and term it correct. Worse, we might call it reality.

We might argue that social media actually gives us more information and helps us to grow up. I disagree. Think about it - were you more patient in general when there was no internet to while way your time or are you now? 

You had more things to do, time to think, tolerance for disagreements, inclination to understand the other person. You had a better vocabulary to express yourself. Proof -- the fact that you can express yourself well was developed when there was no internet. Compare that with the vocabulary youngsters have these days, when they are exposed to the internet at a very young age.

What is the way out?

Introspection, leading to tolerance. 

The only way out is to give in to what is happening, to go with the flow. Enjoy the good, learn from the bad. Communicate not with the intent to establish your identity, your worth, but with the intent to make the other person feel secure that you are not trying to undermine theirs.

It is a long drawn process, one which requires you to keep making efforts from your side and not expect anything in return. Question is --

Are you up for finding your happiness by spreading happiness? Are you up for finding happiness by over-looking others' shortcomings and at the same time, letting others judge you? Are you up for a constant journey without feeling cheated or irritated?

'Coz the pot of gold lies at the foot of the Rainbow.

A figment of imagination

A nameless friendship,
An aimless one,
Life brings us,

Temptations...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

A nameless friendship,
Lessons of the heart,
Life teaches us,

Laughter...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

A nameless friendship,
The vibes of understanding,
Life shows us,

Perspective...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

A nameless friendship,
An isolated island,
Life urges us,

Surrender...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

A nameless friendship,
A misty morning,
Life teaches us,

Scrutiny...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

A nameless friendship,
Could be lust, could be want,
Life ignites in us,

Desire...
Sometimes needed, sometimes wanted.

De-monetization or Demon-itization?

So Modi-ji has dealt the whole country a severe blow.

Is it a good move? Is it a bad move? Is it a move with good intentions but bad execution? Or, since people keep the least amount of their portfolio in cash, this was just an indication to those who hoard black money to straighten themselves or else be ready to face the next blow?

Did the PM underestimate the common man's intelligence in finding the loopholes? I reckon he did, as many people have managed to play the system. Otherwise, such large sums of money would not have found the route to banks. As of today, approximately 85% of the demonetized currency is already in the banking system -- this includes the money deposited after the November 8 announcement, the amount the banks keep with the RBI in the form of CRR and the amount that was with the banks from earlier. Figure this -- What Black Money?


One can't help but speculate that the remaining 15% will also be deposited much before the December 30 deadline - meaning, essentially, that all the high-denomination currency printed by the RBI was white! That black money is being hoarded in some other form and the government was unable to see where to attach the donkey's tail! Or that most of the black money was converted to white through the one in-your-face mistake the government made - allowing people to exchange old, banned currency for new ones over the counter. That shouldn't have been allowed simply. Instead, they should have been told to deposit the banned currency notes in their account and withdraw the new notes - something that they did announce after a few days. Had they realized their mistake?

Yes, he must have aces up his sleeve and I reckon he will achieve much more with the strict implementation of the Benami Properties Act, but he will soon have to address a very potent issue too -- What does he plan to do to give respite to the middle-class businessman?

The typical middle-class Indian businessman conducts most of his transactions without bill to avoid high taxes, i.e. conducts business in black. He does that to avoid the myriad taxes which eat up his income, which is anyways under pressure due to increasing competition. Some businesses are inherently low-margin, high-volume oriented. In those cases, burdening them with high indirect taxes and taxing the leftover income with Income Tax and expecting them to pay in all honesty is wishful thinking. Whatever one might say, people will not do that. This is where the cat and mouse game begins.

Here is the chicken and egg problem - should the government reduce tax rates first so that people become more complaint, or should the people start paying taxes first so that the government can afford to lower the rates?

But I digress. The real issue is not the money stashed with the general trader; the real issue is the black money hoarded by politicians, bureaucrats, criminals. This move was supposed to maim them. It was supposed to fight counterfeit money. Maybe it has managed to address the issue of fake currency, but rumors have already started floating that the new currency is not immune to it either.

The real issue is the exploitation of free will that black money commands. Those in possession of it can and do throw it at those who are deprived of it to get things they normally couldn't have gotten done. Right from the bribe you pay to your customer's salesman to sell more of your goods to the laborers who help gold smugglers to the police and politicians who can stop all this but turn a blind eye, everyone's free will is exploited by the lure of money which goes under the radar.

Has the current move managed to address this issue? I don't think so. Again, it is not something you can wish away; it is a long-drawn process, but one can't help but think that the process could have been faster if the scheme was implemented a little better.

In my limited understanding of the matter, the scheme should have seen some money being destroyed. Only that could have meant that people with black money couldn't find avenues to deposit it into banks and such loss will make them understand that there is no point in hoarding black money. Losing such money won't stop black money generation completely, but it will slow it down considerably.

Having said that, one must give credit to the PM for an extremely gutsy step and clarity of vision -- here is a man who knows what he wants to do with the powers and responsibilities bestowed upon him by the people and his chair, here is a man who can communicate his intentions clearly and who is not afraid to take decisions, here is a man who dares to meet the dark forces of his country head on.

There might have been goof-ups and unexpected twists in this whole process, but we must understand that we make mistakes even while organizing family functions of 300 people - he is trying to handle 1.3 billion people!

Indeed, a demonetization drive of such a massive scale has never taken place anywhere in the whole world and hence, everyone is waiting to see how this saga unfolds.

Will the next God please stand up?

Information moves rapidly these days. With the advent of technology and a growing base of information-hungry people, "information" has very quickly made a very important place for itself in our lives.

In fact, it is not surprising to find WhatsApp groups of friends/colleagues/peers dedicated to sharing information. People feel left out if they are no up-to-date with what's happening around them and in the world.

Information has also changed it's nature. Earlier, it was friends only with the elite and powerful, who fed on it to become more powerful. It was biased in it's reach. It was difficult to find. It was expensive to get.

Today, however, information is all pervasive. It is unbiased in it's availability - it treats the kings and ranks equally. It is now inexpensive and easily available - you just need to have enough dedication to find it. In a lot of ways, it has become a modern-day God of this world which relies on the digital more than the spiritual for anything the heart desires or questions...

However, with information symmetry set to become the order of the day sooner rather than later - even with all the overflow, it is yet to trickle down to all and sundry - it (information) might soon lose it's place of dominance, since it no longer will enjoy the edge of "exclusivity" - it's most potent weapon.

Who - or what - then, will be the new God?

LG - Life's Good (.) (?)

Life isn't easy or difficult; what forms our perception of the ease of Life is our acceptance - or lack of - of the circumstances we find ourselves in.

Do you feel that your driving force is that you deserve more? You won't find Life to be too demanding.
But, do you feel that you deserve more than X, Y or Z? Or more than what you got from Life earlier? Or that you deserve more because you feel that the effort you are putting is more than the rewards you are getting? If you do, then Life is going to be very exasperating, my friend.

Accept the fact that there are others who are more deserving than we are. Rather than rue over that fact, take inspiration from those that you secretly envy and go that extra mile.

Accept the fact that maybe earlier you had things easy. They aren't easy now. So what? Will you just chicken out and surrender to a life of grumpiness? Or will you stand up against the adverse circumstances and show Fate that it must favour your courage, no matter what?

Maybe you aren't getting rewards commensurate with your efforts, but remember, your evaluation of your efforts is just that - your evaluation. Maybe the issue at hand does require that much effort. Or maybe, you are a hard worker in that specific circumstance, not a smart worker. What's more important to you - favourable result, or favourable result with minimum effort?

Don't be someone who shies away from putting in effort - and Life will reward you. Maybe sooner, maybe later. But since you are someone who doesn't mind putting in effort, you also know that it takes a lot of patience to keep doing that. And since you are blessed with patience, a small God in its own right in today's snappy world, you know you can make a good life.

Can you handle the truth?

I was in Delhi recently for a friend's wedding. While it was a lot of fun catching up with old friends after a long time (and happily realized that not much has changed over the years), there was this one instance which evoked some thoughts that I have always believed in, but haven't revisited since some time now...

So there I was, in the hotel room watching some TV when the channel menu showed that they were playing "Before Sunrise"... Now, its been sometime since I saw that and "After Sunset"...

I have actively avoided watching these kinds of movies because you know, they are too much mush and pain in the name of romance. I am not into intense romantic movies anyway. They, somehow, drain me of my energy... and yeah, I can definitely do without feeling drained at the end of a movie!

Anyways, I had nothing better to do and was looking for an alternative, having watched news all morning...

I tuned in for sometime, only to find that some parts were actually thought-provoking (philosophical, maybe?)...

For how many of us actually take long walks with our partners? How many of us are truthful with them in that we can talk about our true feelings and thoughts with them? How many of us really ask them, "What about me really bugs you?"; and if we do, how many of us are willing to hear the raw truth?

Worse, if the question was directed at us, how many of us are going to be honest in our answers? Even if we are - or they are - how many of us will accept each others' quirks willingly and just let them be, not demanding any "action"? Just be content in knowing them for the better, not wanting to change them to suit our perception of what is "better" for them?

We all have thoughts which, at some level, are questionable, immoral or unorthodox at best. How many of us give the freedom to our partners to share them with us, without judging them? Most people do that with their friends because they can't do that with their so-called life partners, soul-mates or whatever mush you will...

Maybe we need to really ask the first question to ourselves -- Can you handle the truth?

Words to remember...

I find I have a lot to learn from people who are not book-fed. I strongly recommend interacting with experienced people versus people who have been to big universities, if and where the two sets are exclusive.

I was visiting one of my clients, an elderly gentleman who's borne the brunt of many a sun's heat in the field. He was telling me how markets have become difficult over time and now, there is no place for complacency.

Among all other things, one of his sentences stayed with me. He said, " In order to succeed, you must either be the first one to do something, or be the best in what you do, or be different than the rest"

Now, I have heard and read about first mover advantage, differentiation, competitive advantage and all of that... but to hear the crux of all that in a single sentence, by a man who has not gone to a university to read about all this, took me a little by surprise.

Success cannot come by knowing the formula from books. One must forget about the formula and work with a single point focus on achieving either or more of the above.

...and am back!

Hadn't realized that I am writing after a gap of more than a year! Bloody 'ell!

Writing almost always helps me relax, though there are times when it brings on a bout of nostalgia and then, well... I get nostalgic ;P

Is it good? bad? stupid? Or, as the philosophers might say, natural (but) waste of time?

A rolling stone...

I was wondering about the origins of idioms the other day and talking to dad about it when he said that it was with years of observation and astute wit that such idioms came into existence.

While that might be the case, for a lot of people it is a mere matter of perception in today's times.

Centuries earlier, the world was still discovering itself; people were still learning about human behaviour and it's impact. People were slow to judge. 

Today the opposite is true. People are quick to judge someone else. A few occurances are enough to reach a conclusion. Everyone thinks they know everything about everything (and if there is any gap somewhere,  it can always be filled by searching on Google!)

Blogger on WP

My first post here through the Blogger app for Windows Phone.
I've been looking for it since a long time now, but I think it wasn't available on earlier versions.
This one isn't very comfortable either, but I guess it'll have to do till a proper one is developed. Frankly, it is quite crappy as it doesn't show the cursor position (!) and the page is not fit-to-screen; it seems it is a patch to the site, really!

Damn it, why cant these Windows guys shell out a few bucks to get proper apps developed!? And the irony here? Bill Gates donates tens of millions of dollars for charity, and his organization won't be bothered with the state of apps! Go figure!

Just Thought...

I'm not a 'poem guy', but some lines have been doing the rounds in my mind since a few days. Thought it's better to dump them out than keep them inside.

A cry without tears,
   A laughter without smiles,
Pain without needles,
   The heart rendered vile

This sounds as if it should have a second stanza. Hmmm... Maybe later.

Just Thought...

And Oh! for the joys of solitude,
    Of silence, thoughts and options multitude,
Of freedom from the shackles of worldly pains,
    Of divine interventions and satanic gains.

From Prof. Mohanty's blog...

Was just going through his blog; these are all old posts. He hasn't updated his blog or the blog on his website in approximately 5-6 years now.. what a shame! I used to enjoy reading his thoughts... it's not common to come across your prof's personal thoughts..

Anyways, so I was reading this particular article and came across this thought that inspired him - He had started following Sathya Shri Sai Baba's advice of looking at the teacher-student relationship as a mother-child relationship and helping the child come to her by picking it up, rather than expecting it to come to her all by itself...

Come to think of it, this is what is required of all us in all walks of Life. If you want Success, you have to buck up and go get it; it will do zilch to come to you.

If you want Peace, you have to work towards dealing with adverse situations differently than you are probably doing right now. Peace will probably laugh in your face from a distance if you start crying and treat it as the mother who'd come and pick you up.

Happiness is another stubborn child. It will, in fact, test your perseverance when you go to pick it up. It will also send it's twin, Sadness, to block your way just to see how much you love it.

Having said that, it's not always in the mother's hand to go pick up it's child when she wants, innit?

Reach for the skies, Atom Ant!

Akshat has asked me a couple of questions. Frankly, I was quite humbled that he asked me; these were important questions. On the other hand, the fact that he asked me these questions might mean that he doesn't underestimate me as much I do myself. 

Anyways, enough digression...

“Professionally speaking, how do I figure out what I should be doing right now to reach where I want to be? How do I figure out if I am doing the best I can?”

TL; DR

For the first question:

• First, identify where you want to reach and in how much time
• What you should be doing right now is to keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities to take you where you want reach
• You should be an exceptional performer wherever you are right now. Many a times, just doing that opens up many avenues and one or some of them may take you to your destination. But mostly, it keeps you in the habit of performing better and better continuously, and  you need that to reach your goal(s)
• You should be experiencing success – small or big – on a continuous basis to understand that, generally, you are making the right moves
• If you are not moving ahead, you are slipping backwards. Professionally speaking, there is no third state of existence

For the second question:

• You have to be harsh about analysis of your performance if you want to get anywhere, which means believing that -
• There is only one best – the “Generic” best. And that is dynamic. Your personal best is of no consequence if it is not the generic best
• On a less harsh level, if your efforts are yielding you the desired results, you are doing the best required to get the result. However, is that the best you can be? Visit points 1 & 2 above
• Introspect. The more you do, the better you get at it. The better you get at it, the clearer you will be in your thoughts and therefore, the resultant actions. This helps one to perform better

The looonnnggg answer!

The first step is to be clear about “where” you want to be. Do you wish to be very rich? Do you wish to have the ‘perfect’ work-life balance? Are you someone who aches to be in command, even if it is at the cost of some money or the glamour of working in a very big company? Or are you someone who craves for that look in people’s eyes when you say you work with XYZ Inc.? Do you prefer working in smaller teams where you shine as a star, or do you want to head departments and perform on a bigger stage?

Hidden in the point of “where” is the time factor. How long are you willing to give yourself to reach “where I want to be”?

In my opinion, today is where you wanted to be sometime back. Have you today reached where you wanted to be some time ago? If yes, then you don’t need to worry as you are taking correct decisions and steps in the right direction. The funny thing about decisions and actions is that they improve with time and practice. So if your past actions have been in the right direction, you just need to fine-tune your decision-making process continually to make the best out of life.

If today, you are not where you wanted to be some time ago, then you should look back and analyze what went wrong. In all likelihood, you’ll discover that you hadn’t “thought things through” or “the circumstances were such”.

Here’s what I propose – be most harsh on yourself and analyze wherever you’ve gone wrong in the past. Don’t wallow in self-pity.

Believe that “circumstances were such” is NOT a reason for failure and that it is your doing.

Honestly speaking, there is no particular process-chart or method through which this question can be answered correctly. I don’t believe there is a unique “correct” answer to this question. This is an example of what the Sanskrit and Hindi texts call “Mrig Trishna”. Let me share a small anecdote with you –

In the times and during exile of Lord Rama, there was this mystical deer that was very attracted to a particular fragrance and used to follow its trail wherever it thought the scent emanated from. Ironically, the fragrance was produced by a gland in its belly, unknown to the poor creature!

The fire is within you. Just don’t let it simmer down. That’s half the battle won. The other half is won by keeping an active watch for any opportunities that might knock anytime, anywhere. Don’t hesitate when the time to jump comes. This is easier said than done. Then again, this is the difference between those who made it and those who almost did.

As for the second question about how to figure out whether you are doing the best you can, I have a slightly different take.

What you have done, what you are doing or what you are able to do right now is your current “best”, if you want to call it that. “Best”, in my book, is a dynamic concept. And let’s face it, whatever we deem to be our “best” today is actually not the “best”, generically speaking. I want to be the generic best. Hence, my “current best” is of no use. Ergo, work harder each day to become better than yesterday.

I start each day with the belief that I can do better today than in the past, and end each day thinking I was better in the past than the day gone today. I use this thought as a positive reinforcement. 

Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost.....!

To fire or not to fire....

Went through my first experience of firing - or, potentially so - an employee in the last week. I can understand today what a lot of HR managers might be going through when they have to fire an employee.

Ankush is a staff in accounting with us. Though not great, he is picking up fast... at least, better than his brother Rohan, who'd 'betrayed' us for a bigger company after we had literally trained him in the Debits and Credits of Accounting. We taught him our accounting software, MS Office and the basic fundamentals of how to go about the whole data-entry process and as soon as he was ready enough for us to trust him with bigger responsibilities, he left without any warning for a CA firm.

Left in the lurch, my brother and I trudged along till we could find someone again. That meant extra hours in the office...but, of course, we are quite mentally prepared for these speed-breakers now. Our accounting is quite complicated and not everyone's cup of tea, given that we use multiple applications and software to maintain all the data we need.

Anyways, so Rohan calls us one day and requests that we employ his brother Ankush, who is a novice but hard-working fellow. Well, beggars can't be choosers, we thought, as we hadn't found a suitable person just yet.

Even though Ankush came fed with a lot of feedback and training from his brother, we weren't quite satisfied. And frankly, we're tired of having to keep training accounting staff. The earlier incentive of taking on low-skilled people because they come cheap and don't have too many exit options is just not lucrative anymore. We are in that stage of business where acquiring good talent - even if it comes at a slightly uncomfortable premium - is a better idea than the previous one. Of course, I have been of this opinion for a long time, but in family business kind of structure, one has to wait patiently for everyone to ride the same boat. Oftentimes, pulling them on the deck is not the best course of action from synergy point of view.

So we were on the look-out for someone with relevant experience and skill. Samar comes along, has worked as an accountant for three years, is currently in Ops. in another firm out of some compulsion, and looking to switch to accounting again. To top it, he literally tells us he is ready to do anything we ask of him, if only we can help him quit his present job. He just needed to serve a month's notice period. Yay!

All this while, we chose not to inform Ankush that we are looking for his replacement and that he too, better start looking for another job. Well, to be frank, my brother was more of this opinion than I was. Like a lot of times, I chose to be negligent and silent.

So Samar comes along for his first day in office. I was quite uncomfortable, not only because I thought we were doing injustice to Ankush, but also because he had shown quite a considerable improvement in the past one month. I have a hunch he was on to us; he had heard us talking to Samar, though not clearly.

It was in this one month that I noticed what a fear of getting fired can do to an employee. It kicks off the survival instinct. He starts grasping stuff better and faster, starts taking initiatives to become more productive, develops - or at least shows - more interest in the work allotted to him and becomes more obedient generally.

It was also the time when I realized how difficult firing a person is. After all, he was depending on the salary I pay him every month to meet his expenses. Worse, he hadn't done anything wrong. True, he is not up to the mark and we can certainly do better with a more skilled and experienced employee.....but it's not his "fault". Yes, the contrary view is that it is his fault that he couldn't make himself indispensable to us. But we deserve better too. My brother and I are much more qualified and capable than to be sitting in front of computers updating our books of accounts entry by entry! So after some tweedle-dee, tweedle-dum, I am at peace with the fact that he must go when he must, in the interest of M/S Phoenix Creations and in the selfish interest of it's top management. In this competitive world, make yourself indispensable, or be disposed off.

But our manner of doing this exercise was wrong, in my opinion. We should have told him earlier. But my brother was of the opinion that we should wait for Samar to see the whole drill, decide that he still wanted the job and then fire Ankush. Point. But that would give Ankush less time to find a replacement! A small argument ensued and in the end, I told him to deal with the issue the way he wanted... and then realize how wrong his approach was. 

My argument was based also on the fact that Ankush was improving. After all, why was this guy suddenly upping his game so much? How could he suddenly develop such sincerity? Surely, something must be very important...

Yes, something was. I believe it was the fear of rejection, of being rendered useless. Of the embarrassment of not having a job, and therefore, a black spot on one's capability. 

But after just one day, Samar called to tell us that he wasn't going to join! Why? No answer. I thought he might be feeling like a winner, considering that we were paying him for a desk job what he was getting for a field job! After all, that was what he had told us in the interview, that he didn't like the field-work!

Anyways, so his story ended then and there. And it seems my brother's approach turned out to be the better one. More practical one. I thought we were being selfish. And unjust.

But it seems, being selfish and unjust is good at times. It is even the most practical, obvious and natural course of action at times. I have learnt this earlier the hard way. But I guess I still find it hard to put it into implementation.

Just because you are a Calcuttan - II

1.       You don’t need to oppose everything that happens for the better…and increasing transport fares or a change in the government is for the better.

2.       Doesn’t mean that you keep on waiting for the AC Metro rack and skip all the non-AC racks. Makes me think you were born and brought up in an air-conditioned chamber so you can’t do without it! OR it seems like you’ve never seen what an AC chamber feels like!

Whichever it is, also consider one small fact – which is…you have to reach wherever you were going ON TIME. So get on with it!

3.       Doesn’t mean that you have to put up with all the pollution! Protest where you should, for once!

4.       Doesn’t mean that you have to put up with all these shenanigans of the hooligans (Read: auto-wallahs and local politicians)! Who are you – men or mice??

5.       Doesn’t mean that every time work pressure builds up on you, you start saying, “aar bhalo laagche na!” (“I’m not liking it anymore” or “I don’t feel well”)

6.       Doesn’t mean that you remain forever pessimistic about the future of this city!

But for that, you must understand and agree to the fact that –  

Industrialization (=Business = Good thing) = Jobs (which is a good thing) = Work (which is a reasonably good way to while your time away) = Money (which, again, is splendid if you have it) = Luxurious Living, which is what a lot of you do the whole day, sans the pleasure and privileges which money can buy.

Comprende, Comrade?

7.       Doesn’t mean that you use your charm in some “The Last Airbender” sort of way to influence the Aam Aadmi Party to turn into you! ;) ….Or….maybe you should keep using this charm of yours….hmmm… wicked, wicked you!

There is a difference...

I may lead a dichotomous existence

Part conservative and part modernistic
Part cowardly and also courageous
Part confident and sometimes, nervous
Part sane and weird too

Part predictable and part in Brownian motion
Part understandable and also unfathomable
Part enterprising and sometimes, lazy
Part emotional and stone cold too

Part motivating and part pin-on-a-balloon
Part grounded and also on-the-moon
Calm in the face of trouble, agitated at the drop of a pin
Part motivated and dejected too

I may lead a dichotomous existence
And you may find it hard to muse
But
I am not a hypocrite
And you should know that too.

There is a difference.

Just Thought...

- Every woman...and man is vulnerable and capable of being manipulated. You just have to impress them enough, show that you are "above" them mentally. Modulate them so they will let their guards down in front of you. Learnt it the hard way that the ability and willingness to do this is inherent in some.

Weird....and I thought relationships were meant to be nurturing grounds where both/all parties gave willingly to bring out the best in each other.

The Big Fat Indian Weddings!

Am a big believer in big fat weddings....lots of functions, bright mornings, colorful and musical evenings....lots of rituals, etc. etc. No...am not a romantic! Far from it....sheeeesh, man! My reason for the fondness stems from the moolah Indian weddings create/rotate in the economy...that's how most of us earn our living!

Don't agree? Are you one of those who believe in frugal weddings and lavish international honeymoons? Ok then....Imagine this..

Indians have stopped having lavish weddings as a general rule. So, when it comes to clothes, the families of the bride and the groom don't pull out all stops in their purchases. Since wedding purchases form a significantly considerable chunk of the sarees and suits industry, it means there will be no spikes in the yearly sales, which is the case right now for approximately half the year.

Indians are also used to renovating their houses during weddings. Wedding is an event to show-off and make impressions and the bride's family judges the groom's family's Haisiyat by the show of the house (vice-versa is also true in some cases, but mostly, the girl's family will be critical in judging the guy's house as an indicator of his wealth as they feel it is a significant indicator of their daughter's happiness post the traumatic event called marriage! ;) ....humbug, you say!? Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles, my friends!)

Anyways, so....no lavish weddings, no sho-sha ....and therefore, no big plans to renovate the house...only the wedding couple's bedroom, maybe...hmmm, ok? Ok...so a major cut-down in the interior decoration expenses. So that industry is also maimed.

Similarly, the flowers and decoration industry, which relies a lot on the marriage season, will take a hit. So will the gifts industry. Who will buy all the microwaves, refrigerators, watches, gold, silver, utensils, etc.!?

Not only that, the invitation card industry, which is a low-margin but high quantity industry, will take a major major hit. So will all these rent-a-car people, who depend considerably on weddings.

What will happen to all the grand marriage venues? Obviously, people who want to cut down on the sho-sha will not want to spend too much on fancy venues...so, will it be advantage 5-star hotels? (I believe most youngsters today want to have a small gathering at a "branded" fancy venue, so that at least those who attended might elevate their perceived status in their minds. Moreover, today's youth is more inclined to spend on themselves than on what their folks might think is "necessary". And who wants all those clingy and irritating relatives and distant cousins at weddings, right?

"No Lavish Functions! Once and for all!! Hmph....no one is bothered about the function....everyone only wants to come to nice places, oogle at each other and the lovely flower decorations which have burnt a hole in our pockets unnecessarily and eat all the delicious food!! We don't even know most of them, and are least interested in knowing them also!" ~ modern boy and modern girl to their respective parents.

This... "Americani-sation" or "Christiani-sation" of Hindu weddings is what baffles and disappoints me the most. After all, how will the economy be able to take a hit of thousands of crores? More specifically, what will happen to me? ;) ;P

ENFP/ENTJ ... Mirror, Mirror!...Mirror, Mirror?

I'm following this question on Quora on MBTI and decided to do the inventory via the link given in the question. Did this yesterday or day before in the morning. What do I get? An ENFP.

Hmmm....though I have taken the inventory earlier in XLRI (in the OB class), I couldn't remember the exact description (it's been some time now)...so I decided to look it up. ENFP - The Inspirer, it said. Yay! ;) Read the article, felt good about myself (can't LOL enough on this thought!) and went to office...

Just out of curiosity, I decided to take the test again at night....the underlying thought being that I had got an ESTJ when in college. Anyways, I believe that a person's personality undergoes a lot of change with change in his/her environment. For the most part. Sometimes, one is able to change the environment according to or with the force of one's personality. All Aquarians are nodding their heads. All their heads.

Anyways, so I took the test again. What do I score this time? ENTJ. The Executer and Leader. Though, to be fair, the Thinking dominated the Feeling by a mere 1%. Shockingly, though, the Judging preference dominated the Perception by somewhere around 44%!

What could bring about the change from ENFP to ENTJ? Did I not take the test properly in the morning or at night? I don't think so.... I answered in all honesty both the times.

So what happened...? Was it a day in the office that brought about a change in the thinking pattern during the day and thus influenced my answers? From an FP to TJ? Was it the blood pressure? :P

Or does it merely reflect on the fact that no matter how strong the inventory, it can't give a 100% accurate result?

Or does it expose and prove the most deeply ingrained truth in the universe -- that the only constant in this world is Change?